Announcer: The Austin Love Doctor, episode 11, Overcoming Porn Addiction in Austin. Porn-induced erectile dysfunction, or PIED.
Charles Runels: This is Dr. Charles Runels, inventor of the O-Shot, and thank you for joining Dr. Emily Porter, the Austin Love Doctor, as she openly discusses overcoming porn addiction in Austin through the eyes of a medical doctor who treats men and women for a variety of sexual issues using the latest medical advancements available. Get comfortable, relax, and welcome your host, Dr. Emily Porter.
Emily Porter: So it’s Dr. Emily Porter, the Austin Love Doctor, and our episode today is talking about pornography and its role in relationships, and more specifically, the problems that it can cause in relationships, particularly for men and especially for young men who suffer from porn addiction.
Emily Porter: Porn’s been around forever. You look back, and you can find pictures and videos…not videos probably a thousand years ago, but pictures and drawings of naked people. Look back at any of the fancy artists. Nudes were very common in Europe, to paint women and paint images of people having sex. So there’s nothing new there. I think the difference is, is in 2019, is how we’re able to access things, and how frequently we can access things and how available they are to us, and at what age they become available to us. These factors make overcoming porn addiction in Austin difficult.
Emily Porter: So, you know, if you take your 6-year-old to the Louvre, they’re going to see some probably some tasteful paintings of nude women and there may or may not be a conversation there. But now you have a 10-year-old that can access hardcore porn on their iPad while you’re brushing your teeth. And they’re accessing it younger and younger. I mean, I know my dad had Playboy growing up, but it was hidden somewhere. You know, every once in a while it might be stashed in the basket next to the toilet or something if you forgot it, but it wasn’t just out in the open. And I’m not suggesting that you be a prude or that you don’t have to teach your children abstinence-only. That’s not really what this is about. I just think it’s frightening how frequent the exposure is and how easy it is for children to be exposed to things.
Emily Porter: So I have four kids, and my 6-year-old gets on my iPad, and what happens is you start out with a video about Cookie Monster, and then YouTube will say like, you know, because you watched this, we suggest this. And I’m literally telling you like 10 minutes later, they’re watching something and you’re wondering how did they even get there? And it’s because it just suggests the next video, the next video, the next video.
Emily Porter: And so anyway, back to porn. By 2020, so a year from now, it’s estimated that 190 billion pornographic videos will have been watched by the average American in one year, with the average person having watched more than 500 per year on their cell phone alone. So it’s not about, you know, Friday night at 11:00 that you have to think about it. Remember Blockbuster? You know, where you had to like … It’s even worse than Blockbuster. You had to want sex, think about sex, get in your car, put your clothes on, go down to the porn store at 11:00 at night on a Friday, and go sit there and pick out a video, and then ring it up and come home.
Emily Porter: And now, you can literally do it at a stoplight. Right? And so it’s just so much more frequent. So is this problematic? Well, I don’t know. It depends on how often you use porn and what your goals are. So I mean, I’m all for porn. I think that there’s a role for it, especially if you’re in a relationship, I think that if your partner knows what you’re doing and y’all are watching together, then I think that there are some things you can see, maybe learn some techniques or experiment without having to have skin in the game, so to speak.
Emily Porter: The rule in our house is that you can’t watch porn if I’m home unless I turn you down for sex. Because I think that would be so hurtful. If I’m there and you want to have sex, and you ask me, and I give you no for an answer, then you can watch porn. I don’t think that happens. But how hurt would I be if I walked into the room because I was working or doing dishes or whatever in the kitchen and walked in and my husband was masturbating with porn? And I’m right there and he didn’t even ask me. Right? That would be so hurtful. So that’s kind of our rule. And I think it’s a good one, but I don’t know everything by any means.
Emily Porter: Okay. So the problem is that now people are being exposed to porn younger and younger. So there are lots of studies out of Europe because they study this stuff more than we do that are showing that thousands of kids aged 11 to 16 in those studies, that 48 percent of them had seen pornography online. And 94% had seen the material before age 14. And over half of the boys under 13 were using porn during masturbation. So we’re not talking about just exploring and touching your body. We’re talking about a 13-year-old boy or an 11-year-old boy who is having wet dreams, who is needing to watch porn to masturbate. It’s a recipe for porn addiction in Austin.
Emily Porter: And so what happens is that now, we have less sex than what we used to have. So there was a study out recently in the Journal of the Archives of Sexual Behavior, that said that this is the first time in history where young people between the ages of 20 to 24 are having less sex than the generation before them. And that is, you know, people who had no sexual partner after the age of 18 who were between 20 and 24, that that number rose from 6% from people born in the 60s to 15% of young adults born in the 90s.
Emily Porter: And so there are some postulates about why that might be. You know, there was an economic crisis so there are some younger people that are still living at home with their parents, which might make it harder to have sex in the house. So that’s one thing. Also, people are getting married a little bit later than what they were before, so maybe you don’t have the frequency of having a partner, that access to it, but then also there are some thoughts that porn might have something to do with it, and that, you know, you don’t necessarily need to have sex with a partner if you can have really good sex with a Fleshlight and a video.
Emily Porter: And so what we’ve found is that men under the age of 40 are being prescribed drugs like Viagra and Cialis at much higher rates than what they were in the past. So it used to be that Viagra marketed to men really 50 and older, maybe in their 40s, but these were people that were in poor health, who had had a heart attack or who had diabetes, and that was kind of who the market was. And now, they’ve shown that between 14 and 35% of young men under the age of 40 experience erectile dysfunction. Let me repeat that, between 14 and 35% of young men under the age of 40 experience erectile dysfunction. And that is a record high.
Emily Porter: So prior to 2002, the incidence of men under 40 with ED was around 2 to 3%. And now, it’s almost a third. So when, in 2008 is when free streaming, high-definition porn became really, really readily available, and that correlates with the sharp spike in the incidence of erectile dysfunction in men under 40. So I’m not saying there’s a causation. I’m just saying there’s a correlation, and it doesn’t seem like just coincidence.
Emily Porter: So the other thing is you don’t have to pay for porn anymore. It’s not just like, you know, you had to worry about … Think about when you go to a hotel, and there’s like pay-per movies, right? So you can do those. I don’t want to pay $20 for my kids to watch Mary Poppins, right? Well, what if, what if I am married, and I’m at a hotel, and my wife’s going to see my credit card bill, and it’s going to show up like, you know, XXX movie on my credit card bill? So you don’t even have to pay for it anymore. There’s not even that fear of embarrassment. You can order sex toys from Amazon in a plain package and nobody knows it’s anything other than just an Amazon box, which I’m all for that, but the access to porn is just causing problems, I think, in the frequency.
Emily Porter: So here’s the thing about porn. It starts out, you know, you’re a 13-year-old guy, and you might watch. You’re curious, so you’ll look at some pictures of some women or you look at some videos, let’s just call it vanilla sex. You know, missionary kind of, not what people would call hardcore. You might even do soft porn, where they’re just kissing or touching. But it’s sort of like drugs, where there’s a center in your brain that drives the desire to see something new or different when you watch porn. It’s called the dorsal anterior cingulate cortex, or the DACC. And what it does is, it makes the person who views porn with some frequency, it makes them keep seeking more and more novel images. But at the same time, it makes your body less responsive to what it sees, and then that perpetuates the cycle.
Emily Porter: So it’s kind of the same as cards, where it’s not even about winning anymore. It’s about just the shock of what cards you’re going to get. And it takes more and more thrill. Sexual arousal causes a dopamine surge in the brain. That’s the chemical that’s associated with pleasure, and also with drug addiction. So you know, maybe you start off with a little bit of weed at a party when you’re 22 and then the weed suddenly isn’t enough. So then you may use some Xanax. And then it’s Xanax and weed. And then it’s hydrocodone. And the next thing they know, they’re using IV meth, and they can’t get off. And it takes more and more doses, and that’s how people overdose, is that they don’t realize what their kind of lethal dose is.
Emily Porter: And the difference between drug addiction and porn is that when you withdraw from drugs, you actually have physical withdrawal from most drugs. You don’t actually get that with porn. You know, you might miss it, but you’re not going to have physiologic body changes, sweating and vomiting and diarrhea and all those sorts of things. So the other thing is that parts of your brain can actually shrink when you watch porn compulsively for years and years. And unfortunately, those are the parts of the brain that are important for romantic love and for keeping and maintaining an erection.
Emily Porter: So I think, again, it starts off pretty easy and simple, but then when you increase the frequency and not only that, but you increase what you’re watching so that you’re always finding something new, that’s when it becomes problematic. So you have somebody that starts off with just some soft-core porn, and the next thing you know, the only thing that gives them a thrill is watching a pregnant lady have sex with a cow. And it’s like, if you’re a normal person, you probably can’t recreate that in your house, and so then what? Now you’re bored, and your partner might be great, and you get this idea that women are supposed to orgasm in six minutes because that’s how long the video is.
Emily Porter: And then you’re frustrated when you’re doing everything right because you’ve studied the books and you’ve watched the videos and you’re doing it exactly the way they are, and then you’re setting this unrealistic expectation for your partner. Like now there’s something wrong with her or him. Well, how come you’re not orgasming? They do it in the video, and we’re doing the same thing.
Emily Porter: Keep in mind that a 20-minute porn video, which is pretty long for an internet porn video, takes 4 to 8 hours to film. And I do have a client who is and has been a porn star in both heterosexual and gay male porn, and he’s young. He’s in his 20s. And he told me that they have to take Viagra. When Viagra doesn’t work, they take a higher dose of Viagra. And then when that doesn’t work, they’ve actually injected Trimix, which is a shot of medications, usually three different medications, that cause the veins to dilate and the arteries to dilate in the penis, so kind of like a shot of Viagra, but even stronger, or like epinephrine. And you inject it right into the penis. And they have to do that because they have to perform and keep an erection for 4 to 8 hours to then edit that down to a 20-minute video.
Emily Porter: So just keep that in mind when you’re thinking about expectations, and make sure that you’re not pushing those expectations either on yourself, that again, that you’re going to have a 9-inch penis because that’s not realistic. That’s why they’re porn stars. Or that your partner is going to have these explosive vaginal orgasms in six minutes because that’s just not … It’s not reality.
Emily Porter: So the other thing, the last thing I guess I want to say is that in addition to needing stronger doses and pushing these boundaries, things can sort of spiral out of control. After a while, some people are watching things that they’re not even comfortable with. I mean, I can see this spiraling into, “Okay, well, I watched straight porn, everything there was. I watched bondage. I watched food. And then I moved to animals. And then I watched gay porn even though I’m not gay, or I don’t feel like I’m attracted to the same person. And so now what’s next? Oh, let me see if I can find some kid porn.”
Emily Porter: And the next thing you know, you’re watching, you know, pedophilia, and that’s not even something that you ever would’ve done, and it can be problematic, but it’s what’s new, and you’re constantly pushing that boundary. And you’re not even realizing what’s happening.
Emily Porter: And if you’re married or your partner, you’re not immune either. There was a 10-year study of marriages showing that marriage satisfaction steadily declined as the husband increased his porn viewing from occasional to a few times a month to a few times a week. And then there was a real nose-dive that occurred when he viewed daily. And I mean, that’s possible, right? So if the average American is viewing 500 porn films on their cell phone in a year, that’s more than one a day. And I’m sure there are people that don’t watch any, but then there are also people that are watching 10 a day. So that’s an average.
Emily Porter: But that’s kind of, that’s not what probably how you got into porn if you’re married, right? And I don’t know. Maybe you’re having marital problems and you’re turning to porn, and so, again, I can’t say that there’s a causation. There’s no proof that, well, my marriage suffered only because I watched porn, just like my mom always used to say, happy people don’t cheat. So if you’re happy in your marriage, you probably don’t need to look outside your marriage for sex or love or whatever because you should be getting that from within your marriage.
Emily Porter: So if you’re having marital problems, sure, you might turn to porn more, but it’s kind of a chicken and an egg thing, and I just don’t want anybody who’s in a happy marriage with a partner to have that marriage suffer because of their porn watching. So is porn a problem? Not always. Can porn be great for a marriage or for a person? Sure. Does it have a place? Absolutely. When is it a problem? In my opinion, it’s a problem when you’re a 20-year-old boy who can’t get an erection with a consenting partner. When alcohol’s not involved, and you should want to not only have sex with her, but have sex with her five times a day. And now you can’t because the sex that she wants is not the kind of sex that you need. That’s a problem, in my opinion, and ot requires someone to overcome their porn addiction in Austin.
Emily Porter: So that’s it. If you guys have any questions, I’m happy to answer them. Email us or go to www.AustinLoveDoctor.com. Thanks a lot!
Charles Runels: Thank you for joining Dr. Emily Porter, the Austin Love Doctor. If you have a question about your relationship or sexuality, please feel free to contact her directly at AustinLoveDoctor.com.
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